One hell of an emotional ride. Today was one of those days where I got so homesick, I wish money dropped from the sky, that I could purchase a return ticket back home, immediately. Everything was a blur, I felt so light-headed. So out of it. I hate it when I feel that way, because it is just plain annoying. And nobody wants to feel this uncertainty. That you might just faint somewhere.
Anyhow, not even hot chocolate could make me feel better. I had to force myself to finish two miserable pieces of sushi rolls. What happened to the days of being able to eat happily, and sometimes too much that you start to worry about gaining weight? Doesn't seem to be case anymore when the appetite has been nothing but a yo-yo. Once it comes, I'll be more than happy to grab as many bites as I can because I don't know when it will disappear and come back.
I miss home, I really do. You might think that almost surpassing the four year mark would make life a whole lot easier, but the truth is, it doesn't. Choosing to come back here was entirely my choice, of course. Just because I want to do what I've been wanting and meaning to do for as long as I can remember. And so far, everything has been great and in place, but my mind - its too bent on home.
Because of the fact that one can actually unconsciously think, this doesn't get any easier.
Sometimes I wish you'd understand. Probably that was how I went through all these years. And then change happened.
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